Don't Be Surprised if She Bangs Your Best Friend

Hope I don't hit a sophomore slump... ok lets go

We all know females want a man's man. 

Side Note: This concept/theory/warning does not apply to the following: emos, women who love Johnny Weir, girls who can legally fuck Justin Bieber, and by pure logic, lesbians.

As for the rest of you women, I'm referring to the type of man who can fix anything in the house or protect you from any minor to semi-dangerous confrontation (If you're expecting Jason Bourne, then now your just being a greedy whore and will probably end up with the guy who played Screech). This could range anywhere from fixing a leaking furnace, a light bulb - even I'll admit, i once tried to stick an 80 W into a 60 W socket- to protecting you from a creepy 37 year-old real estate agent trying to buy you drinks.  Who, by the way, is actually broke because he was under the impression that everyone got wealthy from real estate.  Seriously, be careful of guys like that.

Anyways, back to my point.  Ladies, you want someone like the Old Spice Guy, the guy from the Dos Equis commercials, or Mike "The Situation" (trust me, he knows not to put charcoal on a gas grill, and he cooks!)!!

All joking and semi-true life lessons aside, this story I read the other day raised some interesting points.  I'll post the video at the end, but here's the just of it now, via Mashable.com.

"During a Major League Baseball game between the Houston Astros and the Atlanta Braves, Astros Third Baseman Chris Johnson drove a foul ball in the direction of a couple sitting in left-field. Instead of catching the ball or taking the brunt of the hurling object though, the boyfriend (Bo) slid to his right, letting his girlfriend (Sarah) take a direct hit from the foul ball. Since her boyfriend was in the way until the last second, she never saw it coming.

If you are even too lazy to read that, the point is some dude saw a foul ball aiming at his girlfriend and decided, "I should...probably.... aw fuck it!".

There are at least two arguments for every situation, and they are as follows:

From the female perspective:  Holy shit, her boyfriend is a huge pussy.  He could have caught it, grabbed her and moved her out of harms way, or for some extra drama, he could have dived in front of her Clint Eastwood "Bodyguard" style.  Obviously, he did none of that.  So, now we need an explanation.

From the male perspective: Considering I'm a male, I feel there is three explanations only, however I'm not sure which one it is. 

Scenario A: "Bo" is just kind of a dick.  He could have easily thought the following, "Wow, that ball is coming kinda fast.  I mean, I could easily catch it, but that wouldn't be funny to me.  Considering I have the upper hand in the relationship, I'll just let it hit her, and she'll feel stupid about it later and we'll laugh together."   In this scenario, both are dumbasses, and I support couples that have things in common.

Scenario B: "Bo" actually is just a giant pussy.  He waited until the exact moment he realized it was coming for him, and he was out of there faster than Jazzy Jeff.  Even after the fact, his girlfriend is like "You seriously just ran away?  Like did that just happen?". 

Scenario C.  "Bo" was stoned.  Slow reaction time.  Maybe he forgot he had a girlfriend with him.  Maybe he was going to get nachos at the EXACT SAME time the foul ball was coming.  Maybe he forgot what a foul ball was in that context. 

Maybe... maybe i just can't defend this guy at all.

Bo the Bailer, there's a good chance your girlfriend is gonna bang your best friend sometime soon.  But it's ok.  Every man makes mistakes. 

Just remember these following two things:

1.  What Would the Old Spice Guy Do?
2. At least your not Mel Gibson.

Video after the jump