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I go to Duquesne University, where all three of those positions are for all intensive purposes, powerless. They make good salaries, and they might be able to boost a player's grade here or there if they really need to. Other than that, no one at my college could give a shit about them. Actually, now that I think about it, I can't name or recognize any of those three positions at my school. Duquesne could start off the basketball season 4-0, and I still wouldn't care. For them, they would have to start off 10-0 and win the A-10 for me to start actually having pride.
You see, when I was deciding what college to go to, the story went something like this... I had three buddies from Baldwin High School, and we all decided we were going to go to Pitt one day. I mean, why the fuck not? At heart, I'm a city boy. Oakland has its fun spots. Great basketball team. Whatever. Two of my buddies got accepted, and then I did as well shortly after that. So far so good.
Now, considering I just said I go to Duquesne, I'm sure you can guess the result of the fourth friend's college application. He didn't get accepted into Pitt, but he did get into my two other schools of interest, WVU and Duquesne. To this day, it would have been fun to go to WVU, I won't lie. Pitt thinks WVU is a bunch of truck-driving-country music loving-hillbillies and WVU thinks Pitt is a bunch of hipster-alternative music loving pussies with zero knowledge of how to load a 12-gauge. As you see, it all equals out in the end.
So I said to my friend, "WVU is cool and all, but let's just go to Duquesne. I mean shit, if we really want we can just pretend we go to Pitt and do half the school work?! Plus the girls are wayyyyyyyy sexier than the ones at Pitt (to this day, that is a true fact...not trying to be offensive)".
So we did. In fact, that kid is still my best friend, or one of them, to this very day. We roomed together for two years at Duquesne, and then we spent our Jr/Sr year living in Oakland in a 6-person house...all dudes. The only girls that ever ventured to this place for sex were either girlfriends who had no choice, girls that were soo drunk that they couldn't have possibly had self-respect, and girls who were sober but wanted sex so bad that they would have literally chose a dumpster as well (oh wait, that happened..).
The first two years at Duquesne were transitional periods. I learned what's important about college, what's not important, what I can get away with, what the purpose of college really is, and most importantly I learned how the fuck they take all of your money or your parent's money.
You see, Duquesne University is a private school. They receive all their money from rich alumni and Catholics who give money to the school just as they would the church. Let's put it this way, if Duquesne was a non-catholic private school, they would be pretty much fucked financially. Coming from a Catholic family, one thing they do well is pay back into the system.
This is where I get back to my original point, so if you're zoned out right now, come back for a minute. Unlike Duquesne, I could care a less how they get their money. They are a private Catholic school with no real athletic program, so students and families who decide to enroll there are well aware of the deal. Duquesne needs money, and in return you get to pretend your holier and get the day after Halloween off school. Fair enough.
The problem lies in these giant state-funded schools that are essentially their own town. That being said, Pitt doesn't apply to this rule. They are state-funded and have a great athletic program, but their location prevents them from holding a monopoly of sorts over the community. I'm referring to schools like Florida, Florida State, West Virginia, Auburn, Arkansas, Alabama, Oklahoma, Michigan, Michigan State, Texas, Ohio State, and obviously Penn State. These schools are all located in areas where they are what matters. Correction, they are only what matters. Take a look at these schools, and tell me if any of them are located in an actual city? The only two that even come close are Texas and Ohio State, being located in Austin, TX and Columbus, OH, respectively. Considering we have all seen Friday Night Lights and are aware of the recent scandals in Ohio State, it's pretty clear both of those schools also run the "cities" they are in.
From Gainseville, to Ann Arbor, to State College, these are nothing but kingdoms. The campus is the Kingdom and the Football coach reigns King. In most cases, these colleges employ nearly half the town they are in. There is no NFL or NBA or NHL in middle PA, just like in Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and so on. The residents of State College lived for the past several decades under the rule of Joe Paterno. That football team is their religion, their pastime, and their celebrities.
Name one NFL player that could have walked up to an attractive female two years ago at the University of Florida and could have beaten out Tim Tebow for her. No chance in hell. Tebow was the closest thing to the Messiah I have ever seen on a college campus. Likewise, Joe Paterno was the closest thing I have ever seen to a King on a campus. He's been coaching since he was hired in the early 50's. He is the only coach that tells the college administration when he feels like retiring or not. Everything had to be on his terms, and no one seemed to care.
"You still want to be head coach, but you don't feel like standing on the sideline?"
No problem, Joe, we will get you a a comfy press box.
"Joe, its 2008 and 46 of your players are facing over 160 different legal charges?! Are you sure you still wanna keep doing this? Your nearly 81?!"
Nah, nah. They're just kids. Quitting coaching is fairly close to death.
"Joe, your 84 years old and your very close friend and defensive coordinator has been charged on 40 counts of sexual abuse to 8 underage boys, and it may go as far back as 15 years ago?! Considering you were aware of a rape in 2002 as indicated by a Grand Jury, I mean what do you have to say!!?"
Oh, your gonna retire after this year then. Ok, well that's good, Joe. Anything else?? Oh, you still have love and support for Sandusky and your crew?? Ok.... Are you sure there's nothing else you wanna add Joe?? Wait, say that again, you ARE sorry for the victims?...you know...that's not Penn State? Ok, I mean, that probably should not have taken a few days to say...but hey that's just Joe. LET'S GO GET NEBRASKA!!!
Look, I don't know every detail about this case, and that is because only a few people do right now. All I know is I planned on writing a huge post about how the NCAA is the most corrupt organization since Enron.
The NCAA combined with the football administrations have developed a system in which billions of dollars are floating around. Where does it all go? Just about everywhere other than the player's pockets. They are getting a free education?! Really? Is that why when they show up to one class a semester, and the coach realizes that individual is his starting Center, what do you think happens? I'll tell you what happens...Someone like Paterno sends someone like Sandusky to go take care of it. If the teacher stands up and says no, Paterno can deny the whole thing. Worse case scenario for Paterno: this kid gets kicked out of school for academic probation after all these gifts and promises were made to his family. Then Paterno can hide behind academics as an excuse. But when that Center starts and wins you a championship bowl game for millions and millions of dollars in merchandising, tickets, admissions, video games, etc etc etc.....then what??? Well they got to go to class for free, at least.
This topic is too fucked up to solve in a blog post. One day, maybe I'll write a book and organize my thoughts better. However, I wrote this for one reason tonight, and I am gonna make damn sure I do that.
To the Penn State Board of Trustees: Thank you. You stood up to Spanier, and a now incompetent Joe Paterno. More importantly, you all basically said the following, "We gave you everything this town has to offer. You took if for granted, and now its time you pack your shit and please--get the FUCK out of our university!"
If only the NCAA had balls like that. Congrats PSU. Coaches aren't Gods, Rock stars, or Kings. They are supposed to be role models for student-athletes. Nothing more.
For the first time in a long, very long time, I will actually be rooting for Penn State this weekend to beat the living shit out of Nebraska. These players and fans need it. Paterno, your statue should be replaced with a statue of Larry Johnson. Let's face it, he did more for Penn State in one year than you have in the last 15.
To PSU students, #JustSayin haha
Greg
