Introduction to... Wait, who am I kidding?!

For all of us students, we all have that one day in August where it hits you.  The thought of, "Fuck, I need to remember how to think in a couple weeks!".  It's like not driving for four months, and then you get in your car and drive a ten hour road trip.  Well, this morning was that day for me.  After several months of boozing and acting like a damn fool, I will be forced to booze and act like a fool while studying for tests and deciding which class that day just isn't worth my time. 

You may ask yourself, "What the fuck are you talking about, and why did you start a blog.  Dude, you know no one will read that, right?".  Of course I know that, at least in relative terms.  But here is what else I know.  I'm going to be a senior in college, and I live with five other gentlemen  who know some things about some things.  These things are as follows:

1. Anyone who goes to college knows that you will graduate with a degree, get a job, and realize that college has basically taught you nothing of practical value in relation to that job (at least if you're a business major).  You apply, they accept, several weeks of training and you're good to go.  yay...

2. Shit happens.  A lot of shit happens.  Mistakes are made.  People get embarrassed.  Coffee tables, all furniture, and occasionally knee caps get broken.  Reputations are made during the week and ruined on the weekend.  Confrontations start over things that any rational human being wouldn't even notice.  Homeless men mistake your garbage can outside for a toilet or a supermarket, or both at once.  I mean, you get the idea without me having to specifically out people.  Keepin it real does go wrong..

3. Getting older and growing up are completely unrelated.  Most people my age with my major aspire to be like Steve Jobs, the Waltons (no, not the NBA family), or perhaps Bono.  I aspire to be like fictional characters (Charlie from "Always Sunny" or anyone from the "Trailer Park Boyz"), reality TV stars (the Dream Team of Pauly D and the Situation), and even egotistical atheletes who may or may not have raped a white girl (Ben Roethlisberger and Kobe Bryant).

Translation of everything said up to this point: While I should be worrying about getting a job in a year and a half, I will instead be living in the present.  In the words of MGMT, "in the end, we all are fated to pretend". 

All future posts will be about how I perceive the microcosm around me, as well as the current events going on in this country of ours.  Whether it's Snooki going to jail, KanYe West thinking that he might be Jesus Christ, or just a great story from the dirty streets of South Oakland, nothing is unimportant in the mind of an ambitious slacker.

If you are reading this right now, that means you either

A.  Read through this whole thing, or
B. Just skipped to the bottom.

Either way, you're here.  So for that, I thank you.  I'll be back soon, at the very latest it will be sometime after the third Jersey Shore episode.  Hopefully my roommates will enlighten us too.  

Who am I kidding, they'll prob just go tell me to fuck off.  And if so? Well hey, it's America mothafuckers.